I used to be highly enamored of the Internet.
What a great place, right? Finding old friends, making new friends, staying current with the world. Learning so many new things. The Internet of twenty years ago was full of bright, shiny stuff. I know I felt like a kid at the carnival with a hundred dollar bill (which, back when I was a kid would have been too much money to spend in one day).
At one point in my life, the Internet and my friends on it dominated my entire day. If I got up at a certain time and logged on to a certain site, I could be assured of finding certain people with whom I could commiserate and share. This was clockwork, people. And if I had insomnia and went back to those sites, a different set of people would be on. We would tease each other and ask questions both deep (what is the meaning of life?) and mundane (so you think your snowstorm will hit here tonight?). We would share the secrets in our heads. Those people would set off something in my brain which compelled me to create. It was intoxicating. It was positive. It was as close to Nirvana as anyone is going to get on earth. It was a love affair of epic proportions, that cut into the time I needed for the rest of my life.
Ah, but nothing stays the same.
Lately, and by this I mean the past few years, I’ve seen the ugly side of the Internet. I might be the only one with this opinion, but I can’t stand it anymore. I love words; I love ideas. I love talking and sharing. I especially love seeing the other side. I love to puzzle things out to a solution (much as I despise math and the word “calculation” causes palpitations).
Now, though, the civility has flown the coop. Miss Manners must be spinning in her grave. Red hot emotions cause people to act, say, and type the kind of sentences one wouldn’t yell in a crowded movie theater. It’s not just the potty mouth language that upsets me, it’s the artful twisting of the vocabulary that is not meant to inform, but to inflame. (Shame on you, news media, which we should not now regard as “news” but as commentary and editorial.) If you don’t agree, you get screamed at. People will gang up on you in a tidal wave of indignation. You’ll get boycotted and lose your job. (Not just celebrities, either. I have a story that will curl your hair, but for later…) You can threaten harm and puncture hearts by mere keystrokes. It’s insanity.
I’m all for the freedom of speech, but I’m also for respect. I’m not a Pollyanna, but I crave positive vibes. I will listen to your side, to any side, but don’t refer to me or my friends as stupid, and especially don’t deride me or them behind my back – and on the pettiest of reasons, because we don’t agree. Because while the Internet is vast and you might be good at hiding your words, and I’m no computer bad ass, I can still stumble upon your opinions and if I look just a little harder, can find the rest of you.
And so I’ve been turning off the negativity. So I’ve been weeding the patch, so to speak, on my social media platforms, even though I really don’t want to. Because some of the chief offenders happened to be some of my biggest pals from 15-20 years ago. Finally this spring, after the sale of the business and getting the house ready to sell, I just turned off nearly completely. I started working with my hands (most satisfying), painting and drawing, and writing in a journal and in my many notebooks (because I can’t trust myself near my laptop with WiFi, not yet). I can’t change the world, but I can make my little piece of it relatively happy and without a trace of random hatefulness.
This is a short term measure. Just when I start feeling good about myself and humankind, I’ll hit up Twitter or Facebook for a hot minute, which causes me to retreat in haste and chastise myself for being so naive. Nothing OUT THERE has changed for the better. After my short term disgust, I’ll sit back and wonder about my friends who wrap themselves in half-truths and hate. How did they get this way?
Ugh. This is the part of the Internet I truly despise.
People. Don’t do this unless you want to stay sane. Step away from the screen. Go outside. It’s sunny where I am, but even if it’s not, there’s always something to see. Keep your righteousness, but go out there and find something. Find love. Find fulfillment. Find something real.
And so I will be out there, in the Real Life world, looking at Real Life things, like the roses blooming at the driveway gate, or the smile on that adorable baby’s face, or the amazing color of the sky this afternoon. I guess I’ll peek in every once and again, because for all of its pitfalls, you can’t find better information than online. Plus, you know. I’m an addict.
🙂
I might change my mind at some point. We are all entitled to change our minds.
And I’ll keep writing, because right now it’s one of the few things that’s keeping me positive.
