The one good thing about being a writer: You get to make up all kinds of stuff in your head, transfer it to the written word, and glory in your obvious gift of converting language into entertainment.

The one bad thing about being a writer: Real Life.

Real Life has taken the wind out of my sails in the last ten days. There is the impending death of a family member – no picnic, to be sure; spring, when the yard beckons for attention; summer, when the Real Job heats up; and the antics of my children (yes, even though they are grown – responsibility doesn’t lessen, it just morphs into a different monster). So I have not been writing as much as I should.

I like writing, really I do. I’ve done it continuously since my mother handed me my first pencil. However, my mother was not a fan. I leaned toward scathing pieces from the get-go. In fact, a little known ironic anecdote: I was thrown out of Catholic school for a little story I wrote on a dare. I have always pushed the envelope.

My mother gave me a Remington typewriter that weighed about 25 pounds for my high school graduation, wished me well, and advised me to “stop writing stuff that makes people angry.” Then I entered my twenties, went to college, and partied a little too hard. No direction. My very first novel typed on that very same typewriter sits in a box in my basement somewhere. No, it’s not complete. I ran out of steam after 100 pages or so.

Being an adult means making choices, like working to eat. I did that. I got married. I had kids. I love my family, but Real Life really sucks the time away from the creative side. So what did I do? Made time for me. It was easier to do when the kids didn’t need me as much. Before that, I felt guilt for being selfish.

And so started art classes and writing. I’m totally amazed that I have completed two novels. Two entire books with the words “The End” at the bottom of the last page. This is epic, my friends. I have so many balls up in the air, it’s a miracle I can complete anything.

My first completed novel needs major work. The second has been majorly worked on, and I thought it was ready for submission. I thought I was ready for the standard rejection. There are literally thousands of people writing novels and only a small percentage ever snag an agent or ever get published in the traditional sense. These facts made for a nice buffer, and I’ve been handling my “sorry, not what we’re looking for” s with aplomb.

This week’s rejection was different.

I was told my novel concept might be too novel to be published. (I agree, it’s different. But too unusual to be published? That was crushing.)

Huh. I then went into Pity Party mode. For about a minute and a half. (Okay, a day and a half.) I ate a lot of fast food and chased it with chocolate and soft drinks. While chocolate is a writer’s best friend, fast food and soft drinks aren’t usually on my radar. I now have a pimple the size of a quarter (location kept secret because it’s quite embarrassing) for all of my gluttony.

I [psychically] cried about several things, including my rejection(s), my fence falling down, the state of the economy, the absence of the wire wrap teacher (because I like her and she’s funny but she has a broken toe and hasn’t been to class in a couple of months), our tax bill this year, and the fact that every weekend it’s been rainy and cold instead of warm and sunny. I also pitched a fit about my muffin top, my husband’s office (still looks like a bomb exploded), and some of my lesser favorite employees.

When I came out of my funk, I started writing. I also started reading. Here is an amazing blog post about failure. Son of a gun, but that was timely. Here is another about manufacturing writing time. Thank you, I needed that. Then a writing friend sent me this link, which caused me to laugh heartily. Of course there is the famed Rejectionist, whose current post has more to do with fashion than being rejected. I liked that.

That being said, the Pity Party is officially over. It’s time to get busy.

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Last week, I sent no query letters out for the review of discerning agents. Why? Well, after letting a couple (three, four) writers read the first chapter of VIRTUALLY YOURS, I decided it needed more PoP! more ZiNg! A better FiRsT sEnTeNcE!

So yes, Mr. Ed. While I’m taking your many months of insight, collaboration, and experience to heart, I’m afraid I’m going to have to go against your recommendation. Only on the first chapter. The elements will remain, but my first page is going to WoW!

On the other book: FINDING CADENCE will suffer yet another re-write. This is because my other editor thinks it’s not good enough. I agree. I think I have captured the angst, the pain and suffering, and laid down so many pitfalls, I should have named my character Pauline. But somehow I have to turn it around and make her stronger.

I’m finding it a difficult task. I’m not used to writing outlines for books (I normally start typing and keep going until I have something tangible to play with), and mine sucked Big Time. The conundrum. What is my turning point? When does my character get good and mad and when will she fight back?

I also need some good guys. I’m no man-hater, but I certainly have the Horrible Guy down pat.  Perhaps my vision of them is rather clear. I also enjoy reading about bad boys – love that dangerous quality, I guess. I have a Nice Guy for a husband; maybe I should study him for a while.

As for Clementine, I’ve given her two potential love interests, even though she is not really interested (so she says) in love. I’m thinking she needs some conflict between her and her best friend, Maya. She’s the unlikely cupcake business partner, especially since she is allergic to frosting.

And, I’m short not one, but two people today at the Real Life job. Not only that, but this week is our state’s spring break for high school students. This is a deadly combination, folks. I’ve already had problems up the wazoo, and it’s not even noon yet.

Back to writing. I will be chipping at it ever so slowly today.

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Rich Text Article first published as A Lesson in Courtesy, and I Didn’t Even Have to Participate on Blogcritics.

What a dust up in the blogosphere this week! We’ve seen these train wrecks before, but never on the scale of this.

For those of you who wants the Cliff Notes version, Big Al reviews books available on Kindle. Many books available on Kindle are self-pubs, or e-pubs. I imagine in the world of self-pubs, there are good books and bad books, just as there are in print form. His review of Jacqueline Howlett’s The Greek Seaman, caused the author to appear on his comment thread. She spewed expletives, and while 1. this is the Internet, and 2. I have no sound on my computer, I could literally hear her screeching.

We’ve seen this before: authors getting worked up and ornery over reviews. While I understand the burning need to defend oneself and the work of art (i.e. baby) they have created, starting an online flame war is not likely to win many friends and influence people. At least, not toward the positive.

It took an hour for me to read the comments, many of which were entertaining. I did not comment. What else is there to say?

Like Big Al, I sometimes write book reviews and I sometimes receive free copies of books from publishing houses. Unlike Big Al, my mantra is, if I can’t write a gushingly positive review, I’ll write no review at all. Not that Big Al’s review of Ms. Howlett’s work was all that scathing. A review is a subjective thing, as are books. There are books I’ve read and wondered “How the hell did this get on the New York Times bestseller list?” There are others that I tweet and review and push on my friends and employees, because those books are great and seem to get no press at all.

Big Al pointed out the flaws in Ms. Howlett’s books, and he did so without malice. It seemed a rather tame review. Even in subsequent comments, he maintained a level of professionalism he should be congratulated for.

On the other hand… Jacqueline Howlett has caused an Internet splash and held more than fifteen minutes of fame, but nothing good will come from it. If she ever approaches an agent or publishing house, the first thing the respondent will do is Google her. (Don’t you? I do all the time.) Nothing is ever erased from the Internet, no matter how you back-pedal or delete. Unless she changes her name, this eruption of bad behavior will likely follow her for the rest of her life.

Let this be a lesson in courtesy, for writers and everyone else in the world. Some people might like what you do, might like who you are, might agree with your political leanings or your choice of rap star versus Justin Bieber. They might prefer the way their mother cooks roast beef and not Arby’s, they may feel loyalty to American cars over foreign brands, or they may want to live in the woods with the bears instead of in the city.

Artists are entitled (sometimes compelled) to create. Once you put it out there, it’s there for the world to see. It had better be perfect (which is why I haven’t e-pubbed anything – yet). Once released, you lose your right to be indignant over subsequent comments.

Authors should keep in mind these things when it comes to critique and reviews:

1. It’s not personal. Not unless your mother or your ex-husband is the reviewer and you can prove it’s personal, let it go.

2. Grow a thick skin, because if you’re on the Internet, you’re going to need it. Not everyone loves you, not online, not in Real Life.

3. Keep your mouth shut. Someone likes your work. And even if no one on the planet likes your work, YOU do. If you don’t have faith in your work, you might as well go back to your day job.

4. If you find a burning urge to debate your opinion, do so privately. Public displays are great for us rubber-neckers, but not so good for you.

5. For God’s sake, DO NOT use the *F* word in comment threads, particularly if you’re a writer. A sprinkling here and there in a manuscript is one thing, but a writer should be able to come up with a more genteel metaphor. As in the Real World, overuse of the word does not make you look cool – it makes you look crass, uneducated, and rough.

Finally, consider your critique to be an aid to making the next piece better. Big Al brought up some very valid points regarding grammar, spelling, and purple prose that would likely help Ms. Howlett with her next project.

If she listens.

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I know this post is totally off the wall. I’m procrastinating. I should be writing an outline. 🙂

I know a writer who is very mathematical when it comes to her stories and novels. She uses spreadsheets to map out how many words each chapter contains, and strives to have each one uniform, with almost the same amount of words or pages.

She knows exactly how many words are on each page, and how many she writes in a day. Using a spreadsheet, she can easily add up all the words she has ever written.

I’m not quite that logical. In fact, some of my chapters are considerably smaller than others. Some of my articles are considerably longer, especially if I get on a tear and really start to rant.

They (who?) say your second million words are better than your first million. The first million is mostly crap, as I can attest. I suppose this theory is based in part on Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers. This book explores the premise that in order to be good at anything, one must practice the activity for at least 10,000 hours. Roughly speaking, at 40 hours a week, that’s about ten years of work.

Translated to writing (I only WISH I had 40 hours a week to write!), a prolific writer might hit a million words in a few years. I decided to add up my words while waiting for a guy to give me a quote on replacing my fence.

While blogging at the ominous Orange Haze at the far end of the Internet, I probably wrote 1,000 words a day, sometimes more, sometimes less. In a little more than two years, I figure my word count for the Orange Bubble was around 500K. When I look back, much of it was not very “literary” but it was awfully damned fun.

Add to the early blogging one very large, epic, and completely unreadable novel of 175K, another around 100K, and a novella of 40K, and three WIP in the 20-40K range (they are all related to each other, so I’m doing them in tandem), my blog here, my work elsewhere, and we are talking about a substantial pile of words. If you toss on that stack everything I’ve ever written, including the folk songs of the 1970s, the 900 love letters of the 1980s (to my husband), and the myriad of letters to teachers excusing my kids for orthodontia and begging their forgiveness for my kids’ rowdiness in the 1990s, I’m fairly confident that my lifetime total word count is well over a million.

*sigh*

Now that it’s been established that I’m on my second million words, I think it’s time to concentrate on quality, not quantity. Although there is something positive to be said about an embarrassment of words. Too many, and you can cut. Too few, and you have to kick the imagination into gear to fill in those missing moments.

It’s also time to get serious. Which is why I’m now going back to my outline.

 

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Even though my queries are shooting through cyberspace at the pace of two a week, the responses are slow in return. Not complaining, mind you. At this rate, I figure I’ll run out of agents long before the rejection letters, meaning I’ll be waist-deep in the aftermath for months to come.

In the meantime, I’ve come up with a list of things to do while you’re waiting for rejection. I’ve done most of these, but I’ve yet to do some. Can you guess which ones? 🙂

1. Take up a new hobby. It’s hard to do when your head is full of angst and wonderment about the next form email to hit your inbox. Or you could be silly like me and expect the next return email with “QUERY_VIRTUALLY YOURS” in the subject line may actually be an offer. (A girl can dream, can’t she?) I usually take up a new hobby just to see if I can get my mind off my worrying.

2. It’s very fattening, but cook. I always cook in times of stress. Of course, that will make a person fat, which leads to…

3. Working out. Even for ten minutes. Drag the dog out for a walk, even in pouring rain.

4. Open your manuscript one more time. No, don’t do that. It will drive you mad.

5. Start a new project. That’s right, write some more. Go in a totally different direction. Write in another genre even.

6. Bug your husband to buy you a comfortable bed.

7. Buy yourself some pretty notebooks and a nice pen and put it in your purse. One can derive a lot of inspiration from paisley covers and turquoise ink. Plus it makes you look like you’re a serious writer, even though you are really a wannabe sitting on pins and needles.

8. Take a class. I highly recommend Jeremy Shipp‘s online class for those like me with no time to commit to a brick and mortar class. Even though I do not write in his genre, but I found his exercises very motivating.

9. Google your favorite authors to find out who represents them. I know that’s close to cyberstalking, but these are desperate times.

and finally…

10. Read. Reading is more than fundamental, it strengthens the brain. The more writers read, the more they want to write, and that is the whole point, isn’t it?

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As if I didn’t have enough to do, I have decided to try a new experiment in writing.

Actually, I’m taking advantage of my renewed vigor after attending the San Francisco Writers Conference. I love attending this conference, because afterward I feel the glow and motivation of so many positive writers, editors and agents.

Part of my idea is based on a wonderful workshop given by Nina Amir at the conference. The presentation was titled “Blog a Book in a Year.” The premise consists of commitment to a daily blog entry, and voila! Just like that you will have a book along the lines of “Julie and Julia.”

I’ve done this before, and it’s wildly entertaining. For me, for sure; for my readers, maybe. 🙂 For those of you who knew me from that other web site across the galaxy, I took a Susie and constructed a novella’s worth of adventures for her in the span of about six months. All it took was signing in as her each day or so and twenty minutes of posting.

(I still have my “Sioux-y” story. Maybe someday I’ll publish it, although I have shopped it around. Most agents wanted me to change the time from the 70’s to the modern era – since it’s YA – but that wouldn’t work. Siouxy grew up in the Twin Cities in the 1970s and there is no way of translating that fab time to the modern day, not without massive surgery.)

The main reason for doing this is not to finish a novel in a year, although the accomplishment would be a fantastic bonus. It’s to get my butt into gear and make a habit of writing.

This also coincides with something else going on online. The new experiment will be a romance – I promise – modern in nature, but the girl ends up with the guy. (I have to admit, I have had this idea percolating in the back of my mind for about a year, so I have the guts of it in place. Just not on paper.)

At some point, I will post the location of the blog for all to visit. Not today though. ;-P

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No word yet on the novel (Finding Cadence) sent to the esteemed Alan Rinzler, but I suppose that’s to be considered. The book needs a lot of work, and he’s likely flummoxed over it.

In the meantime, I’ve put Virtually Yours on the editing back burner (after adding a short paragraph-blog post at the beginning) and have been diligently emailing queries at a rate of approximately two a week. In fact, I just sent another one a few minutes ago. So far, request for one partial. I’m not complaining about the wait; I have other things to do in the meantime.

I wonder if other writers get the way I am sometimes, or is it my own case of adult onset ADD? I am enamored of my works at different times, so caught up that all I can do is think about a scene to add or something else to tweak. Then after the hysteria dies down, I close the file and can’t stand the thought of opening it again. Or if I do open it, the heady rush-love affair feeling has dissipated and all I can think is “Meh?”

I couldn’t stand to open Cadence for over a year after I typed the words “The End” at the bottom of my 175K monstrosity. It was just too horrific. Embarrassing. The thought of editing made me nauseous. So I started the next book, and let that one rest.

It was full steam ahead with Virtually Yours. I couldn’t wait to get to it. With the help of an editor, I noted the weaknesses and strengths. I revised. I studied. I honed the personalities of my characters and made them more real. I tweaked, and tweaked some more.

Once complete, I did go back and worry over certain parts of it. But then, I re-opened Cadence and discovered it wasn’t that bad of a book at all. I was hit by a blast of new found energy.

Many writers I know say I should stick to one story before moving on to the next. I just can’t constrain myself to those rules. I have dozens of stories in my head, and a few more in various states of disrepair in my computer. If I’m not constantly jotting something down or emailing myself a link or starting a new WIP, I would go nuts.

Of course, I realize that writers with far more discipline would probably say the same about my modus operandi. But we all know I’m nuts, right?

🙂

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