Monday Science Experiment: So I Took a Mid-Day Benadryl…

I spent this morning outside weeding. I’m so far behind. We went from winter to summer and back again four times in the last six weeks. There’s been no spring in this part of the world, just extremes.

I’m an urban gardener, not a hardy nutjob. If it’s not 60 degrees plus and sunny, I’ll wait for another day… or another year.

But finally, the gods decided to smile on me and I’ve been out in the yard since Friday. But today has been brutally relentless on the allergies. The pollen is so thick, you can cut it with a knife and feed the hummingbirds dessert for the next two months. By 10 a.m., most of my body was itchy, my tongue had swollen, my nose was a running faucet, and I couldn’t even smell the dog taking her doggie duty inches from my little trowel.


So I opted for relief. I took a mid-day Benadryl.

I don’t normally ingest this wonder drug in the middle of the day. Night time is the right time for Benadryl. That’s because eventually you will lose your will to remain seated in an upright position and will need a comfy bed to crash on.

I once made the ghastly error of taking two of them at once. It was a bad year for hay fever. The kids were little. I’d loaded them up into the minivan and drove to a not-so-nearby nature center, where we would hang out and have our dinner.

Not so fast…

It took a half hour, but I realized I had to get home…NOW. I told my son if we didn’t make it, he was to take my cell phone and call 911 and have us rescued. We managed to make it home safely, where I went directly to bed and didn’t wake up for 18 hours.

I normally power through allergy season, but today, I couldn’t stand my situation one minute longer. I’m fairly certain my neighbors were tired of my scream-like sneezes too. So I ceased all gardening and ingested a Benadryl.

You don’t win-win with Benadryl. You win a little, lose a little. See what I mean?

Mid-day Benadryl upside: My tongue has shrunk back to its normal size, meaning a trip to the ER on a holiday has been averted.

Mid-day Benadryl downside: I can’t concentrate. I was going to work on edits. I might still, but I can’t be responsible for what pours out of my head right now.

Mid-day Benadryl upside: I’m feeling oh-so-mellow. I’m smiling.

Mid-day Benadryl downside: I could take a nap anytime now. NOW would be good.

Mid-day Benadryl upside: It’s a holiday! I could nap if I want! Hurrah!

Mid-day Benadryl downside: When I type Grand Rapids, it’ looks like this – Gtsnf Ts[ofd/.

Mid-day Benadryl upside: I won’t need that cocktail later. Because I’ll likely be napping.

Mid-day Benadryl downside: I really don’t feel like running today.

Mid-day Benadryl upside: I’m at work, the phone is ringing off the hook (it’s loud and annoying), but I’m not annoyed. I don’t care!

Mid-day Benadryl downside: I probably shouldn’t use any equipment that involves sharp edges, flames, or precision. Which means I probably shouldn’t work on jewelry either.

That’s about all the hilarity I can stand for now. I have to drive home while I still can.

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